The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson

Warning: This review may contain repeated usage of the word f*ck

Summary in one quote:

“…if you go around giving  a f*ck about everything and everyone without conscious thought or choice—well then you’re going to get f*cked.”

My thoughts:

Entertaining and brutally honest and I love it. Mark says you must give a f*ck about something. So, while the book is about learning to not give f*ck, its more about learning to not give a f*ck about some things; things that don’t really matter in the long run. 

At one point Mark discusses that idea that he doesn’t give a f*ck about anything when in reality he just doesn’t care about certain things in the face of his goals. Things like angering others, embarrassment, and failure. I think this is an excellent example to look to. These difficulties are things we often try to avoid when instead we should be embracing them. 

Unexpectedly, Mr. Manson discusses how emotions are a call to action and should be investigated. Oftentimes, I feel there is a great emphasis on how we should try to be objective and not let emotions overcome us. While this can be helpful advice, I appreciate that Mark went deeper in what emotions can be for a person instead of just a hinderance. He’s not saying let emotions rule your life. However, he does say that your emotions tell you something and that investigation of those emotions can be helpful in getting you to focus on what’s really going on in your life. 

Another great point in this book is Mark’s advice for finding what makes you happy in life. He proposes you ask “what pain do you want to sustain?” instead of “what will make you happy?” If you look at your happiness in these terms, you will find what it is that will make you happy and what you are willing to do for that happiness. 

Later in the book, Mark says to welcome the pain and then act despite it. Once you manage to act, you become motivated to continue to act. Simply doing something should be your measure of success which is something I don’t think is encouraged enough in this world. Usually the focus is on how not to think of failure rather than how you should think of success. I feel like society doesn’t focus enough on successes no matter how small. 

As Mark puts it, If someone is better than you at something then they probably already failed numerous times before you. They are successful regardless of those failures.

There’s a part in the book that explains the importance of saying no. In order to value something you must reject things that aren’t part of that value which seems kind of like an obvious point to me. I know there are some people who need to hear what Mark is saying in this section of the book but it was probably the part I least enjoyed of the book. He goes into having to learn to give and accept rejection to find value which ends up tying into some surprising relationship advice from Mark. I think you are having trouble finding values in your life this section is helpful. However, funnily enough this section did not add ‘value’ to my life. Sorry for my bad joke, I can’t help myself 🙂

The overall idea of the book is we are all going to die one day so we don’t have time to give a f*ck about everything. Look at the big picture and realize trivial things don’t matter. I categorize this book as a GREAT READ BUT….I do feel some of the things in this book are a tad cliche. What makes this book great is honestly Mark’s way of putting things and looking at life.